Dear Office Mates...

Dear Office Mates,

While I am well aware that many of you are stressed and have no time to get lunch (let alone eat it), please respect the fact that some of us have little (strike that, no, none, zip, zero) self control and would like to fit in to their bathing suits this summer. That is, without any excess flub hanging out or over. Just this week you all have forced me to consume Reeses, chocolate easter eggs, pizza, strawberry cheesecake, birthday cake, ice cream, and key lime pie. I can only imagine what you will torture me with during the next week and a half. (Oh and not to mention the gigantic Goodberry's concrete with chocolate ice cream, marshmallow, and oreos that Adam maaaade me eat last night, sheesh.)

I do not have the time, nor do I have the desire to work out for three hours every single day. So, unless you plan to provide me with liposuction and a personal trainer/chef beginning April 16th, I suggest that you rid the office of these temptations. PLEASE. For the sake of the children (at the pool and on the beach).

Oh, and co-workers, while you are at it, could you please remind yourselves to "choose your attitude." And to stop complaining about my bare feet. And to stop giving me "rushes" and to stop throwing packages to fed-ex at me. It would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

No-Will-Power-What-So-Ever