Post Taxmas

'Twas the day after Taxmas, and all through the office
No phones were ringing, no accountants in sight...

Mmmk...so it doesn't exactly rhyme, (you try to think of a word that rhymes with office!) but the phrase "no creature was stirring, not even a mouse" is on repeat in my head as I sit at the front desk of my office the day after April 15th. For the CPA's this is the start of their eight month vacation (well deserved), but as they enjoy the 80 degree weather, attend doctors appointments that they've put off for months, and travel to the beach, I sit at the front desk staring blankly at my computer monitors and listening to the sounds of the office. It is not even 10 o'clock in the morning yet, and there is no way that I am going to make it until 5 o'clock. I am going to chew my hand off before then. Definitely. That, or die of a candy induced sugar overdose.

I could write one of the two papers that are due this weekend, or I could straighten up the office, or I could fold some of the 300 pay stubs that I have to mail out today. But I don't wanna. Last year I watched TV on my computer--6 or 7 episodes of LOST, I believe. This year I have no speakers on my computer. Coincidence? I think not.

I'd have brought my book but I definitely would have nodded off. So, I choose to nod off to various office sounds... the man in the lobby on his cell phone talking much too loudly, the painful squeal of the elevators as they strain to go up and down, the ringing of the phone (oops, better stop tuning that out), the sound of thighs rubbing together in too-tight capri pants as people walk by...

Speaking of too tight pants, after working my third tax season, I am convinced that there is a "tax season 5." Yes, I am referring to the five pounds that I have gained every tax season. Although, I believe that the majority of weight gain occurs during March and the first two weeks of April. Luckily I have managed to lose "the 5" pretty quickly each year (hopefully this year will not be any different!). Gaining five pounds is just enough to make my clothes feel uncomfortably tighter and to make me hate the scale. Haaate it. Once the numbers start going down the scale can be my friend again, but until then I loathe it.



The weight gain surprises me every year. But why should it? I spend the majority of my time at work consuming biscuits or doughnuts for breakfast, pizza or some other horribly unhealthy and ridiculously portion sized junk food for lunch, cakes, and candy. I am also much more sedentary than I am the rest of the year. But what horrible timing--just as tax season is finishing up it is time to break out the bathing suits. Ok, well I guess I will go do some squats now and take a few laps around the office because I am depressing myself. (And the candy is staring at me and calling my name.)